Managing thoughts and feelings can be viewed as the starting point of working through the challenges of conflict. I would contend that it is the groundwork for all other actions and approaches one may take to navigate conflictual situations. How can we share our honest views and reflections in a way that others can hear and how can we listen … Read More
Systemic Conflict Resolution in Families and the Workplace
All conflict arises in a system or systems. The focus of this article is to investigate this statement and the application of conflict resolution practices in light of it. It follows on from the previous article on the meaning of “conflict”. I mediate conflicts on a weekly basis where the participants are two colleagues or two family members. I regularly … Read More
A meaning of and a necessity for conflict
The word “conflict” can throw up many different associations. We will all have had experience of conflict at some stage of our life, at some level, in some way. Perhaps we could say that each of us is likely to have a relationship with conflict. As you bring it to mind now, notice the thoughts, feelings or images that arise. … Read More
Untangling Toxic Conflict
When differences turn into toxic conflict[1] it usually takes a toll on all involved. As someone who supports people through conflict, increasingly I see my job as helping people live a life they can be happier in. That may look different to each one of the people I work with, it could constitute feeling more settled, peaceful, connected, energised, more … Read More
Conflict transformation – awareness and the journey within (part two)
This article continues to focus on personal awareness as one key pillar to transforming challenging relationships in life. As referenced in the previous article, the usual starting point, one that humans seem to be hard-wired towards, is to blame the other when one is in conflict. It is a kind of magnetism, to point at the other person. However, as … Read More
Conflict transformation – awareness and the journey within (part one)
When things get tough in relationships, the common response is often to hope and sometimes demand that the other person changes and does something different, often radically different. If healthy relationship is a dance, a mutual sharing of, thoughts, feelings, and experiences, then indeed it is important that each person can express their needs and make requests of the other, … Read More
Awareness – the power to transform conflict
“Awareness is like the glow of a coal which comes from its own combustion” (Perls, Hefferline, Goodman, 1951: 75) Writing about mediation, dialogue, and the practice of conflict transformation, is one way by which I reflect on and develop my practice. It has been a few months since I last wrote and I’ve missed that space to grapple with and … Read More
No conflict is an island – the place of context and “field” in resolving disputes
Conflict is as much about context as it is about the in-the-moment dynamics of a relationship. Or at least, the two are indivisible. To put it another way, every conflict is underpinned by a comprehensive collection of variables, a web of influences, a complex map of roots and consequent branches. Context is ever present. For example, in a workplace mediation, … Read More
When in conflict, go towards conflict
Humans are individually unique beings. No one person is the same. Obvious huh? Well maybe, and yet so often we adopt similar patterns of behaviour to those around us; it can sometimes appear that the differences between us is a matter of semantics. From such confluence (Perls, Hefferline, Goodman, 1951) develops formulised and patterned approaches to managing contact with the … Read More
How on earth do we disagree?
A few years back now, on a whim, I decided I was going to drive from London in the UK, 50 miles north to Luton, so I could be there during an EDL (English Defence League, far-right group) rally. I’m drawn to edges, and to what I don’t know. I’m also fascinated by human beings and their world; I spend … Read More
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