A meaning of and a necessity for conflict

Nick AdlingtonUncategorizedLeave a Comment

The word “conflict” can throw up many different associations. We will all have had experience of conflict at some stage of our life, at some level, in some way. Perhaps we could say that each of us is likely to have a relationship with conflict. As you bring it to mind now, notice the thoughts, feelings or images that arise. … Read More

Zooming in and out of Conflict

Nick AdlingtonUncategorizedLeave a Comment

I really enjoy sitting down to write and reflect on relationship, difference, conflict, and the navigation of these sometimes challenging river systems. However, I can get pulled into the day-to-day administration tasks of running and developing a business. Then I can lose touch with the passion I have for understanding the nature of conflict and the maps we need to … Read More

Facilitating and modulating expression in conflict

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What does “facilitating expression” look like in practice? In the last article, “The under-expressed and the over-expressed in conflict”, I referred to an aspect of the mediator role as one who facilitates and modulates expression. I also said I would say more about what this might look like in practice. Therefore, this article will be a short(ish!) and sharp list … Read More

The under-expressed and the over-expressed in conflict

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What do we mean by “conflict”? What do we mean by “peace”? What do we mean by “conflict resolution”? What do we mean by “conflict transformation”? This article aims to encourage and support continuing reflection on the work that we are engaged in as mediators. This process of reflection can be a pillar in helping us develop our practice and … Read More

Untangling Toxic Conflict

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When differences turn into toxic conflict[1] it usually takes a toll on all involved. As someone who supports people through conflict, increasingly I see my job as helping people live a life they can be happier in. That may look different to each one of the people I work with, it could constitute feeling more settled, peaceful, connected, energised, more … Read More

Anxiety when in conflict – managing and moving through

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This is an article I wrote through the lens of my work as a psychotherapist. However, it also struck me how frequently anxiety arises when we’re in conflict. Anxiety is so fundamentally linked to issues of safety, or to be more specific, the challenge to our feelings of safety in the world, that it seems to me it is inevitable … Read More

Questions, questions, questions

Nick AdlingtonUncategorized2 Comments

Have you ever worked in a job where you make an agreement with a colleague or a client, agree some actions perhaps, then meet again a few weeks later only to find nothing has moved forward? Have you ever listened to a friend who is going through a challenging time, offered some impartial third-party advice to help them get to … Read More

Anger FORBIDDEN, the impact on conflict and mediation

Nick AdlingtonUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Anger. Feeling anger. Feeling angry. Being angry. Fury. Feeling fury. Feeling furious. Rage. I was struggling to find a way to ease into an article on anger, possibly because one doesn’t tend to ease into the feeling of being angry, well not in my experience anyway. I know it as a sharper more pointed personal response and reaction to precipitating … Read More

Conflict transformation – awareness and the journey within (part one)

Nick AdlingtonUncategorizedLeave a Comment

When things get tough in relationships, the common response is often to hope and sometimes demand that the other person changes and does something different, often radically different. If healthy relationship is a dance, a mutual sharing of, thoughts, feelings, and experiences, then indeed it is important that each person can express their needs and make requests of the other, … Read More