Working with shame in conflict resolution

Nick AdlingtonUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Shame is an essential pro-social force. Our experiences of shame are reflective of the fact that we have values and ideals, which in turn help us cooperate as human beings and live in community. Shame helps us care what others think and take responsibility, and is essential for constructive, collaborative, and loving relationships. However, shame, as with most life experiences, … Read More

Working through…”I’m right, you’re wrong”, in the restoration of relationship

Nick AdlingtonUncategorizedLeave a Comment

This article is written to highlight an aspect of conflict, and one’s own personal process, that can obstruct the capacity to restore collaborative and cooperative relationship. It also gives a suggestion for beginning to address this issue. In my experience of mediating conflict, and understanding my own disputes, I notice that what often emerges is a clearly defined sense of … Read More

On being judgemental

Nick AdlingtonUncategorizedLeave a Comment

I heard someone the other day (outside of my work environment) saying they were non-judgemental. I noticed my physical response, a slight tension in my throat, my facial muscles tightened a little, a wariness emerged into my experience. As this person said they were non-judgemental, my level of trust towards what they might say or do very slightly weakened. I … Read More

Awareness – the power to transform conflict

Nick AdlingtonUncategorized1 Comment

“Awareness is like the glow of a coal which comes from its own combustion” (Perls, Hefferline, Goodman, 1951: 75) Writing about mediation, dialogue, and the practice of conflict transformation, is one way by which I reflect on and develop my practice. It has been a few months since I last wrote and I’ve missed that space to grapple with and … Read More

No conflict is an island – the place of context and “field” in resolving disputes

Nick AdlingtonUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Conflict is as much about context as it is about the in-the-moment dynamics of a relationship. Or at least, the two are indivisible. To put it another way, every conflict is underpinned by a comprehensive collection of variables, a web of influences, a complex map of roots and consequent branches. Context is ever present. For example, in a workplace mediation, … Read More