What do we mean by “conflict”? What do we mean by “peace”? What do we mean by “conflict resolution”? What do we mean by “conflict transformation”? This article aims to encourage and support continuing reflection on the work that we are engaged in as mediators. This process of reflection can be a pillar in helping us develop our practice and … Read More
Untangling Toxic Conflict
When differences turn into toxic conflict[1] it usually takes a toll on all involved. As someone who supports people through conflict, increasingly I see my job as helping people live a life they can be happier in. That may look different to each one of the people I work with, it could constitute feeling more settled, peaceful, connected, energised, more … Read More
Questions, questions, questions
Have you ever worked in a job where you make an agreement with a colleague or a client, agree some actions perhaps, then meet again a few weeks later only to find nothing has moved forward? Have you ever listened to a friend who is going through a challenging time, offered some impartial third-party advice to help them get to … Read More
Working with shame in conflict resolution
Shame is an essential pro-social force. Our experiences of shame are reflective of the fact that we have values and ideals, which in turn help us cooperate as human beings and live in community. Shame helps us care what others think and take responsibility, and is essential for constructive, collaborative, and loving relationships. However, shame, as with most life experiences, … Read More
In mediation, slowing the pace of conflict
From time-to-time difference between individuals or groups distorts into conflict. One way to consider conflict is to think of it as dialogue between beings that has extended beyond what the parties to the dialogue can manage. There can perhaps be a tendency amongst human beings to assume that we are “all able”, “all able” to manage any communication, thoughts, feelings, … Read More
“Sometimes the greatest thing people have in common, is the difference between them” – creating common ground through the recognition of difference
Any dispute is a manifestation of a difference, whether that be between individuals, groups, or nations. It can probably be termed as difference with particular attributes, for example difference that involves two or more relatively fixed positions, and difference that usually holds an amount of heightened emotion for those involved. But as we investigate the dispute in a mediation, what … Read More
How a mediator’s “presence” and embodied experience may be used in service of dispute resolution
In training to be a mediator we learn skills, techniques, approaches, important aspects of how to handle challenging and entrenched disputes. We take these tools into our mediations and apply them in nuanced fashion to help the parties move on from the conflict that constrains their business, work relationship, child’s well-being (eg SEN Mediation). However, the more I’ve practiced as … Read More
Right Here, Right Now – shifting conflict in the present moment
In a dispute between two people, there is always a history. One of our jobs as mediators is to help those who have courageously committed to mediation to navigate that story. We support mediation participants to explore past events that have led to the feelings of hurt or distress that often lie at the centre of conflict. As mediators we … Read More