This is an article I wrote through the lens of my work as a psychotherapist. However, it also struck me how frequently anxiety arises when we’re in conflict. Anxiety is so fundamentally linked to issues of safety, or to be more specific, the challenge to our feelings of safety in the world, that it seems to me it is inevitable … Read More
Working with shame in conflict resolution
Shame is an essential pro-social force. Our experiences of shame are reflective of the fact that we have values and ideals, which in turn help us cooperate as human beings and live in community. Shame helps us care what others think and take responsibility, and is essential for constructive, collaborative, and loving relationships. However, shame, as with most life experiences, … Read More
When in conflict, go towards conflict
Humans are individually unique beings. No one person is the same. Obvious huh? Well maybe, and yet so often we adopt similar patterns of behaviour to those around us; it can sometimes appear that the differences between us is a matter of semantics. From such confluence (Perls, Hefferline, Goodman, 1951) develops formulised and patterned approaches to managing contact with the … Read More
Are you breathing? Managing discord
Discord, difference, conflict, dispute, whichever way you term it, when there is a polarisation of interests, views and values, there is usually an accompanying behavioural response from the people involved. Human beings are living, breathing, and wonderfully emotional creatures. That we have a physiological and feeling response to inter-personal issues is not surprising, and should be cherished. Yet, it is … Read More