The word “conflict” can throw up many different associations. We will all have had experience of conflict at some stage of our life, at some level, in some way. Perhaps we could say that each of us is likely to have a relationship with conflict. As you bring it to mind now, notice the thoughts, feelings or images that arise. … Read More
Anger FORBIDDEN, the impact on conflict and mediation
Anger. Feeling anger. Feeling angry. Being angry. Fury. Feeling fury. Feeling furious. Rage. I was struggling to find a way to ease into an article on anger, possibly because one doesn’t tend to ease into the feeling of being angry, well not in my experience anyway. I know it as a sharper more pointed personal response and reaction to precipitating … Read More
Conflict transformation – awareness and the journey within (part two)
This article continues to focus on personal awareness as one key pillar to transforming challenging relationships in life. As referenced in the previous article, the usual starting point, one that humans seem to be hard-wired towards, is to blame the other when one is in conflict. It is a kind of magnetism, to point at the other person. However, as … Read More
Working through…”I’m right, you’re wrong”, in the restoration of relationship
This article is written to highlight an aspect of conflict, and one’s own personal process, that can obstruct the capacity to restore collaborative and cooperative relationship. It also gives a suggestion for beginning to address this issue. In my experience of mediating conflict, and understanding my own disputes, I notice that what often emerges is a clearly defined sense of … Read More
On being judgemental
I heard someone the other day (outside of my work environment) saying they were non-judgemental. I noticed my physical response, a slight tension in my throat, my facial muscles tightened a little, a wariness emerged into my experience. As this person said they were non-judgemental, my level of trust towards what they might say or do very slightly weakened. I … Read More
Awareness – the power to transform conflict
“Awareness is like the glow of a coal which comes from its own combustion” (Perls, Hefferline, Goodman, 1951: 75) Writing about mediation, dialogue, and the practice of conflict transformation, is one way by which I reflect on and develop my practice. It has been a few months since I last wrote and I’ve missed that space to grapple with and … Read More
Connecting with ourselves
The bell goes at 5am, believe you me, not my regular wake-up hour. However, the rustle of bed sheets and the gentle padding of feet up and down the dormitory provides a form of communal solace for the unearthly hour of the day. By 5.30am I’ve negotiated the wash basin, toilets and corridor and am sitting alongside 60 other people … Read More