Conflict between friends – a call for dialogue

Nick AdlingtonBlog0 Comments

Corinne Rechais is the Director of a mediation service (CALM Mediation) in London, UK. At the Civil Mediation Conference in London recently she mentioned that many/the majority of their community mediations were between people who had once been friends. That simple statement really stood out to me. What is it about friendship that may make us particularly vulnerable to conflict? … Read More

How a mediator’s “presence” and embodied experience may be used in service of dispute resolution

Nick AdlingtonBlog0 Comments

In training to be a mediator we learn skills, techniques, approaches, important aspects of how to handle challenging and entrenched disputes. We take these tools into our mediations and apply them in nuanced fashion to help the parties move on from the conflict that constrains their business, work relationship, child’s well-being (eg SEN Mediation). However, the more I’ve practiced as … Read More

How on earth do we disagree?

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A few years back now, on a whim, I decided I was going to drive from London in the UK, 50 miles north to Luton, so I could be there during an EDL (English Defence League, far-right group) rally. I’m drawn to edges, and to what I don’t know. I’m also fascinated by human beings and their world; I spend … Read More

Right Here, Right Now – shifting conflict in the present moment

Nick AdlingtonBlog2 Comments

In a dispute between two people, there is always a history. One of our jobs as mediators is to help those who have courageously committed to mediation to navigate that story. We support mediation participants to explore past events that have led to the feelings of hurt or distress that often lie at the centre of conflict. As mediators we … Read More

Unexpressed Feelings

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I have seen it said that feelings and emotions can get in the way of understanding and empathising with people. From my experience as a mediator in “high feeling” mediation meetings, I can see this point. Feelings and associated emotions can be heightened and expressive, to a point where it is difficult for one, other, or both sides to clearly … Read More

Are you breathing? Managing discord

Nick AdlingtonBlog

Discord, difference, conflict, dispute, whichever way you term it, when there is a polarisation of interests, views and values, there is usually an accompanying behavioural response from the people involved. Human beings are living, breathing, and wonderfully emotional creatures. That we have a physiological and feeling response to inter-personal issues is not surprising, and should be cherished. Yet, it is … Read More

Meeting Point – reflecting on dialogue in public spaces

Nick AdlingtonBlog

Meeting Point is a go-dialogue programme aimed at building relationship and capacity for relationship, through dialogue. The first Meeting Points were delivered last week, six sessions across three days in locations around London; set-up as a circle of chairs in a public place with an invitation for people to sit down and take part in discussion with a host from … Read More

Meeting Point – a quality of contact

Nick AdlingtonBlog

So, two final Meeting Point sessions to finish off this three-day run. The goal was to experiment with dialogue, and relationship, in communal spaces, open to all people. Today, the first 90 minute session ran on the south bank of The River Thames in central London, next to Waterloo Bridge. The circle of chairs set-up, it was then a chance … Read More

Meeting Point – a reflection on dialogue

Nick AdlingtonBlog

Today was the second day of three as go-dialogue delivers Meeting Point sessions in locations across London. The programme is an exploration of dialogue and community in a diverse and ever-changing world. Driving into London to run the sessions, I was struck by the amount of high rise building going up either side of the road, and the ever growing … Read More